also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
