Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
