In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
