I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
