Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
