it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
