I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
