We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
