you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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