**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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