I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
