operation have a gay friend backfired
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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