We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize