I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
