this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
