What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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