So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
