She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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