I'm really into asian looking animals
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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