you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
