At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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