Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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