Are we in a gay sports bar?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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