After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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