If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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