do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
