So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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