At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
