I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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