can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
