What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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