who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
