Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
