so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
