I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
