This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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