Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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