I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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