You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
