K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize