We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
