I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me