Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

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  (914): dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk. http://tfl.nu/x11o
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (2130)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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  (203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom
  Replies (42) Good night (1225) Bad night (10391)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

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  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (5175) Bad night (666)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.

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  (724): An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/gzqy
  Replies (24) Good night (5544) Bad night (2399)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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  (505): We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee. http://tfl.nu/uw8q
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (3549)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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  (319): Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year. http://tfl.nu/pkn3
  Replies (5) Good night (1922) Bad night (631)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

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  (903): True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad. http://tfl.nu/idc2
  Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (1774)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (2372)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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  (914): The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/dd19
  Replies (3) Good night (1556) Bad night (492)
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  (818): View more from California

  My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

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  (818): My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place. http://tfl.nu/mphg
  Replies (10) Good night (1361) Bad night (512)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.

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  (636): They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited. http://tfl.nu/jbhp
  Replies (0) Good night (772) Bad night (367)
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  (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

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  (650): I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there http://tfl.nu/bqch
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (395)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...

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  (603): Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life... http://tfl.nu/r8ks
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (609)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

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  (813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt
  Replies (13) Good night (757) Bad night (515)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.

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  (724): A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume. http://tfl.nu/l1hl
  Replies (1) Good night (1086) Bad night (339)

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