Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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(317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2

Replies (34) Good night (6853) Bad night (1096)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh? (1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to http://tfl.nu/xpu9

Replies (16) Good night (3239) Bad night (838)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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(608): I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her. http://tfl.nu/5b2d

Replies (18) Good night (7491) Bad night (997)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.

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(765): I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro. http://tfl.nu/6pjm

Replies (10) Good night (3379) Bad night (844)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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(701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk

Replies (12) Good night (4703) Bad night (836)
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(540): View more from Virginia

He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.

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(540): He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever. http://tfl.nu/fmlb

Replies (3) Good night (1410) Bad night (422)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...

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(+32): You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep... http://tfl.nu/47cg

Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (429)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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(606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3

Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (439)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It happened again.

(612): View more from Minnesota

What?

(651): View more from Minnesota

I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.

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(651): It happened again. (612): What? (651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now. http://tfl.nu/fx7i

Replies (8) Good night (1946) Bad night (605)
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(530): View more from California

Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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(530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp

Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (735)
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(516): View more from New York

I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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(516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t

Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (342)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.

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(252): He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high. http://tfl.nu/0y39

Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (389)
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(520): View more from Arizona

That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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(520): That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you. http://tfl.nu/jnah

Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (362)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol

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(214): I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol http://tfl.nu/v83q

Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (342)
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(330): View more from Ohio

A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.

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(330): A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent. http://tfl.nu/mkyo

Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (223)

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