Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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(281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2

Replies (6) Good night (1936) Bad night (1233)
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(925): View more from California

we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself

(707): View more from California

dude you teach first grade wtf

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(925): we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself (707): dude you teach first grade wtf http://tfl.nu/gqyp

Replies (57) Good night (8128) Bad night (1985)
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(315): View more from New York

He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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(315): He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender http://tfl.nu/9vxe

Replies (23) Good night (1920) Bad night (4611)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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(337): There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back. http://tfl.nu/dznq

Replies (6) Good night (4603) Bad night (1170)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.

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(203): Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good. http://tfl.nu/s47l

Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (2485)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl

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(717): I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl http://tfl.nu/17il

Replies (4) Good night (2969) Bad night (754)
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(509): View more from Washington

I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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(509): I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg http://tfl.nu/tr8k

Replies (6) Good night (2245) Bad night (810)
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(917): View more from New York City

I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

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(917): I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved. http://tfl.nu/p2yu

Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (537)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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(603): And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol. http://tfl.nu/g84x

Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (447)
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(850): View more from Florida

Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

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(850): Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made. http://tfl.nu/7051

Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (493)
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(315): View more from New York

how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

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(315): how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/auq3

Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (843)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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(770): Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/nhyv

Replies (2) Good night (1783) Bad night (472)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."

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(412): I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from." http://tfl.nu/4vvg

Replies (6) Good night (1723) Bad night (488)
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(316): View more from Kansas

ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.

(316): View more from Kansas

And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming

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(316): ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid. (316): And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming http://tfl.nu/9ifj

Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (365)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.

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(701): Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit. http://tfl.nu/e4rt

Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (407)

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