Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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  (845): its like an ocean threw up right in your lap http://tfl.nu/b2xa
  Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (2643)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (12257) Bad night (1202)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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  (813): So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell? http://tfl.nu/9wrt
  Replies (37) Good night (6534) Bad night (1902)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (2787)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.

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  (808): Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face. http://tfl.nu/bml8
  Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (3253)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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  (630): there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have? http://tfl.nu/04yo
  Replies (22) Good night (3248) Bad night (1305)
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  (949): View more from California

  Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.

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  (949): Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude. http://tfl.nu/kuta
  Replies (6) Good night (2245) Bad night (748)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic

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  (570): please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic http://tfl.nu/e8z4
  Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (2204)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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  (330): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call http://tfl.nu/x7fj
  Replies (10) Good night (1983) Bad night (644)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much

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  (509): Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much http://tfl.nu/alr8
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (745)
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  (692): View more from

  I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger

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  (692): I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger http://tfl.nu/6k76
  Replies (1) Good night (1031) Bad night (441)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"

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  (412): We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird" http://tfl.nu/4bz0
  Replies (3) Good night (1008) Bad night (332)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle

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  (405): he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle http://tfl.nu/f8qt
  Replies (6) Good night (295) Bad night (854)
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  (661): View more from California

  Are you okay?

  (1-661): View more from California

  I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!

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  (661): Are you okay? (1-661): I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay! http://tfl.nu/70id
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (449)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.

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  (763): I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy. http://tfl.nu/qdhq
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (174)

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