I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way