exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just high enough for therapy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
