Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
