I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
True strength comes from lack of pants
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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