is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize