so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
