apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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