I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
