Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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