so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
