Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
