She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
