just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
