I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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