Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Randomize
