Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
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The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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