oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
