I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
