Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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