i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's the barista slut.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
