She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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